I was reading As a Man Thinketh by James Allen the other night.

I was gaining a lot insights from it and I was having a blast taking notes and reflecting about my life.

But, I stumbled upon a sentence that hit me like a truck.

Men are anxious to improve their circumstances, but are unwilling to improve themselves; they therefore remain bound.

James Allen

I felt like I was being called out.

Yes, I do want to improve my circumstance and I’m trying my best to improve myself for the better.

However, deep inside I know that what I’m doing isn’t really solving the problem.

I was indirectly addressing the problems in my life.

I, admittedly, am scared of facing the actual problem. Not that I don’t have a solution per se, but in the face of the problem, I feel small and paralyzed.

I know what I need to do, but I can’t do it.

I often think about the judgement from others for what I’m about to do. I feel anxious to move.

However, I know that once I get past this I’m one step away from my current circumstance.

It is said often the first step is always the hardest and it’ll get easier from there.

I wholeheartedly believe that, but it’s so god damn hard that I feel like crying.

WOOOOOOOOH!

The man who does not shrink from self-crucifixion can never fail to accomplish the object upon which his heart is set.

James Allen