In the year 2014, I arrived at school with bloodshot eyes and a heavy heart. I couldn’t get a wink of sleep last night. I spent my time rolling around my bed and sitting by my desk, back and forth, the whole entire night.

Yesterday morning, my homeroom advisor told us he would be announcing the student rankings for the first quarter of the academic year. Immediately, my heartfelt fidgety and cold sweat drenched my back. I was anxious but, more so, excited.

I know damn well that I worked hard that quarter. I raised my hand and recited till my brain tapped out. I sacrificed a lot of entertainment, even my favorite game, to ace a quiz. I asked questions even though it made me feel stupid. I tested out strategies that worked for me in the past and improved them.

Last year’s disappointment never left me. I failed to get through the rankings, and I was pissed at myself for slacking. I knew this was what I wanted yet I didn’t do anything!

However, this year felt different. I felt I was on a mission. I knew I had the right habits and the work ethic, and I felt I could really do it this time.

Convincing myself to calm down, I weaved through the student-filled halls approaching a familiar door with the fist-sized hole smack dab in the middle. As soon as I entered the room, I felt a micro-shockwave hit my face. It was a lot louder inside than outside.

I approached my chair from the back of the room with my best friends. They greeted me and I gave them an uncaring nod. I dropped my bag on the floor and slumped my near-dead body then rested my head on the desk.

I wasn’t usually like this.

But this time, I felt more comfortable sleeping in this busy room with kids playing with crumpled paper and shooting it in a makeshift ring made from food containers than my room along with the sounds of swords and grunts of Clash of Clans in the background complementing the already chaotic room.

Sometime later, I noticed my classmates rushing back to their seats with the makeshift ring already hidden in the usual hiding spot. Then the man of hour came, the devil himself, it was my adviser. The class was immediately silent.

The moment I saw him, my hands, back, and feet began sweating. My heart was beating fast, and my body was fidgeting like crazy. My best friend looked at me with concern and slapped my back lightly. Waking me up from my nervousness.

I took a deep breath as my teacher took out a piece of paper and looked at the class, menacingly.

“Only 5 students in this class got an average of over 91%.”

That’s to be expected, I inwardly nodded. This class wasn’t the honor section where the smartest kids in the grade were in. I’ll be there soon, I know it!

“Stand if you are called.”

This is finally it. The moment whether my hard work and sacrifice were worth it. I shook my hands and did stupid breathing exercises that I learned the night before.

“Christian Francisco with a grade point average of 91.12%”

I looked to my side and saw my friend standing up with a nonchalant look at his face. I smiled at the fucker. A friend that I can call my brother. The one who I can bounce ideas with and the one I can trust. I’m proud of this lazy kid.

“Aryan Grace with a grade point average of 91.89%”

I nodded my head in approval. That girl was one of my inspirations. A crazy hard worker to the end who knows how to balance her life in every way.

This is it. The last three. I’m confident that I’m in this top 3, but I’m not aiming for Top 3 nor Top 2. I’m for Top 1. That’s it that’s the single that thing that I only want. However, two people in the back of my head deserve to be top 1.

“Rene Oliva with a grade point average of 92.37%”

When I heard his name, my heart immediately began to tense again and beat louder and faster than before. That moment I knew it. I knew I was there. I could almost touch it, feel it. I was getting so close.

This is it. There’s only one person left standing in my way, and I know exactly who it is.

Ian Gabriel.

This guy is an amazing artist, writer, and a wizard at mathematics to boot. A hypercompetent kid who does roleplay and joins writing competitions. It’s impossible not to feel inferior to this guy. He posts all his medals and winnings on his Facebook profile. It made me question why was the kid here in this section?

I held my face with my hands and elbows on my desk while I kept doing my stupid breathing exercise. My best friends held me by the shoulders as I dreaded what was about to come next. But I knew it was inevitable.

“Ian Gabriel with a grade point average of 92.84%”

A moment of shock froze me at my place. I popped up and looked at my advisor as my friends began rocking me back and forth at my seat congratulating me. I was at a loss for words. This! This is what I’ve been wanting all my life! Now, here I have it!

“Anton Bondoc with a grade point average of 93.14%”

I stood up with my fists clenched. A wave of euphoria flooded my mind and all the stress, worries, and drowsiness suddenly left my body. All those sleepless nights and all those frustrations finally bore fruit. I felt light as a feather, and I felt like crying. 

“These are the 5 students who excelled this quarter. Continue to do your best and inspire your classmates. Sit down.”

I sat down and ingrained this feeling to my core. I would never forget this feeling ever. This day made me believe that hard work does work, and accountability was supreme. A single-minded focus on my dream would make me go to any lengths to make it possible.

Later that year, I consistently got Top 1 and eventually got placed in the Honor section the next year.