it’s 6PM, and I’m here sitting in front of my laptop watching my substitute teacher blitzing her way through her presentation. My back was hurting and the only thing that’s stopping me from going to bed was me being called for recitation.

I’m about to doze off, but my sister, out of nowhere, opened the door so hard that it shook me awake.

“What the hell is wrong with you!” I said.

“Alain, just asked our uncles for money.”

“What?! From who?!”

“Tito Bebe and Tito Macky. He said it was for tuition fees.”

“This fucking kid.”

At this point I was already fuming, but more embarrassed. Those uncles have already done so much for us. Yet, this brother of mine, decided to ask them for more money? Are you fucking kidding me?

We already have our other uncle who would pay for our tuition fees, why would you fucking call the other ones instead of him?

Never in my life grabbed my phone so hard, and called my brother’s ass so fast in my life.

When he answered, I began interrogating about what happened.

“Is it true that you borrowed money from Tito Bebe and Tito Macky?”

“Yes.”

“Why didn’t you call Tito Budoy instead?!”

“He was asleep! What do you want me to do!”

“Huh?! Then fucking wait!”

“I can’t wait for him to wake up.”

“Why the fuck not?”

“Because I’m already at the university…”

“Oh my fucking…”

“Fuck you! I don’t care about what you’re about to sa—“

I can’t take it anymore. I backed away from my phone.

I don’t ever want to hear another word from this fucking idiot ever again. HOLY SHIT. Didn’t he think about the consequence of doing that bullshit? Did he ever think that he shouldn’t be this shameless? Oh my fucking… I just can’t. Just thinking about it. I really can’t.

Man, the lack of social awareness about what’s going on in his life. God fucking damn. It’s the same thing all over again. That guy never learns.

I just fucking can’t.

Ahh shit… You know what! I’m just glad that he already paid for his tuition fees. Yeah, yes. Let’s think about it that way. Yes. Yes. He was able to enroll despite having no money, despite telling him multiple times that he should be telling Tito Budoy about his tuition fees. Yes. Yes. Let’s think about it that way.
Positive thoughts, positive thoughts.

Yeah, positive thoughts, my ass.

I knew that I wouldn’t be over it within the day. So, I distracted myself with other things. I did work, played some games, until I eventually saw his face again. This time, I was more calm and asked him if he was able to pay. He said the was able to pay, so that’s good. I’m glad that’s over with.

Looking back, I overreacted. It was my mistake. I should’ve been more understanding when I heard the situation, but I still can’t help myself from getting pissed.

Although, I was angry, I should’ve listened more. I should’ve calmed myself down and told myself that he did found a way to enroll. Although, the method is something that I really disapprove off.

Well, whatever man. I’ll make it up to him.

But, I can’t help but think of myself as a fucking hypocrite. I told myself a few weeks ago that I would be more careful about what I’m about to say. I promised that I would never focus on any faults or flaws ever again, but here I am breaking that promise.

I’m such a fucking clown.